


Origin Point

by literaryladytype



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23190895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryladytype/pseuds/literaryladytype
Summary: A frustrated Adora takes a walk to where she first found the sword, and finds an unlikely source of comfort.
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Light Hope (She-Ra), Adora & Shadow Weaver, Adora/Catra (She-Ra), catradora - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Origin Point

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Spoilers, I guess, but they don't really get together at the end, please don't get mad at me because I'm only here to write a Catradora that grows from their abusive relationship, and I don't think that is at all where they are right now. Also some of this is off, timeline wise, and I'm writing this before the final season comes out. Sorry. And Catra would never be this calm, but we can dream, right? Anyway, happy reading!
> 
> Trigger Warning: Adora's depressed, self hatred, it could also read as disassociation? I guess? There's some anxiety in there too. Mention of death, mention of Shadow Weaver's abuse and Light Hope's abuse, Catra's abuse, Adora's scars, mention of fighting, mention of martyr complex, also swearing.

Adora feels underwater most of the time now, as she pushes through the tree branches and brush with her stupid new sword, which she _hates_ , like her ears are pulsing or like there’s glass in front of her.

She’s looking for that spot, edging dangerously close to the fright zone- enemy territory, though she doesn’t truly think of it that way.

Edging dangerously close to her old home, maybe.

(Adora doesn’t really have a home now, she doesn’t think.)

If she finds the spot where it all started, where she grabbed that wretched sword and everything got fucked up maybe she’ll know why.

There was always a line where She-Ra began and Adora ended, where jagged fears and bad memories and awkward teenagedom bloomed in the searing light to something stronger, noble, and… and righteous.

But every righteous thing she did was to protect her friends, wasn’t it?

If she was ultimately right, if she kept people safe, shouldn’t that mean a few unheard opinions and frustrated moments were forgivable?

She wanted to keep them safe. And now she wants everyone to stop hiding their anger at her, she wants Bo and Glimmer to yell at her again instead of pitying glances-she even got them to let her go out today, they were that worried.

At the end, she wants- actually?

She doesn’t know what she wants in the end of this anymore.

It used to be simple; total victory for the Horde, destruction of the ruthless princesses with Catra at her side.

Then it was defeating the Horde with She-Ra and the Princess Alliance, but they have bigger problems than Hordak now, and she isn’t She-Ra anymore. There’s nothing golden and shining about her, and she doesn’t want there to be.

Adora has been duped twice. What is that stupid Etherian saying? Got me once, jokes on you, but if you do it a second time, I should’ve known better than to trust some genocidal cyborg and not gotten my entire planet destroyed?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Shadow Weaver melded her into a secret weapon once, and she was dumb enough to let it happen again by Light Hope.

Or not Light Hope, because she was just a code that got tampered with, a victim of the Heart Of Etheria Project (not like Adora, Adora is just human (maybe) and stupid, so stupid), and every time Adora believes in herself, in someone or some cause she’s twisted and warped towards evil again and again.

And she’s only making things worse, because she’s naive, which is what Catra told her, and the worst She-Ra ever, which is what Catra told her ( _you’re not She-Ra anymore_ ), and everything is her fault.

Which Catra told her.

There are two tapes on loop in the back of her brain and one of them is the sound of her sword cracking and the other one is _Catra was right, Catra was right, Catra was right._

It turns to a rhythm with her new (terrible) sword as she cuts down the vines in her path.

“Hey, princess,”comes a far too familiar from a tree above her, igniting some old mix of relief and defensiveness. "What, you decided to take out all your anger on some plants? I thought I deserved that spot."

_Speak of the devil._

“Not a princess,”she mumbles, and keeps walking, putting her sword back in her old hilt, which was comically big for the new one.

“Mm, it’s true then?”Catra says, oddly calm as she slips down from the tree, walking after her.

Adora doesn’t meet her gaze.

“Our great savior, demolished-” she starts, mockingly, but Adora cuts her off.

“Stop it, Catra.”

“Fine. I’m sure you’ll find some other way to bother me anyway.”

That shouldn’t be comforting, but.

They hike past a tall tree with purple leaves, over a bridge across a flowing river, and walk through a field of almost iridescent violets, and Catra is still walking with her, going off on weird tangents at times.

It’s the closest to normal Adora has had in years, and part of her never wants it to end, and another, smarter part is terrified this is part of some elaborate ambush.

But how would that even work? Why spend any resources containing Adora? Why fight the alliance now, when Horde Prime is still structuring his army’s plan of attack?

“You really like that color red, huh? Even after all that time in the alliance, you still wear the same thing.”

Adora feels her face go hot. _Stupid._

“What do you want, Catra?”

“To give you some fashion tips, clearly, you know I’m considered-”

“Catra,”she says, soft but firm.

To her surprise, it works.

“I was alerted to a threat to the border, and… investigated.”

“Really, that’s what you’re going with?”Adora mumbles dryly.

“I’m not here to fight you, Adora.”

“Why? Didn’t seem like a fair fight?”she says, and she can hear how pathetic it sounds.

“What, do you honestly want me to? Because that’s what I’m getting here, you and your goddamn martyr complex.”

It’s a sucker punch.

“I don’t think you’re weak,”Catra says, more and more intensely, trying to catch her eye. “I think you want to pretend you are so you don’t have to _fight_ this anymore-”

“STOP IT!”Adora cries, so loud some birds fly away from them, and she looks Catra in the eye for the first time, her expression shaken.

She takes a shaking breath.

“You don’t- you don’t fucking get to anymore, Catra,”she says her voice cracking and cracking. “You don’t get to psychoanalyze me. Or fucking tell me I’m strong, or-or, or-”

She sits down and a sob wracks her whole body, and suddenly it’s uncontrollable, and she can’t see from the tears, except she feels Catra pull her close and she hangs on for dear life.

She smells the same.

She smells the _same_.

Like her old rationed deodorant and lemon scented soap, something she never thought she’d smell again, and it makes her cry harder.

“I know,”Catra is saying softly. “I know, I know I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Adora, I’m so sorry.”

Adora bites her tongue to cut off the last of it, still sniffling embarrassingly.

“You’re okay,”Catra says, as if she’s telepathic.

“Okay, maybe you’re not,”she says, some of the old snark back, “but that’s okay too. We have Horde Prime to fight, it would be stupid if you thought we were running on the best chances.”

“We-”Adora’s voice shakes again and she tries to pull herself back together, feeling like an electric current is running through her. “We _what?_ ”

“Oh, yeah I’m a spy against Hordak now. I told Sparkles to let me tell you myself.”

“What? Catra, _what?_ ”

“I don’t want to die?” Catra says, a bit frantically justifying herself.

“That’s nice to hear,”Adora says confusedly, and for some reason it seems to throw Catra off, because she blushes and won’t look her in the eye.

“Yeah, I mean I don’t wanna die, and I’m _not_ pro-princess, or whatever, but I’m definitely anti-Horde Prime, so.”

They’re still so close together against the tree, even out of the embrace that it makes Adora’s heart beat faster, and she’s so flushed with so emotions for her, for her, _it’s always for her_ , and crushing, crushing relief and the realization:

_Catra feels like home._

And you shouldn’t make homes out of people, and there are still so many things she has to say to her and lines that got crossed and- and so many scars. On her back.

Adora catches herself before she kisses her, and Catra watches, her expressions hiding deep under the surface.

“What were you looking for out here?”Catra asks finally.

“The spot where we crashed,"Adora says softly. "That day when I found the sword.”

“Oh,” she says some small recognition in her eyes.

She stands up and holds an arm out to pull Adora up.

“That’s the other way, come on.”

They hold hands tentatively as they walk back, through broken training towers and ripped up earth and kingdoms and empires undone, all the way to their beginning.


End file.
